In a week, I’m moving away from the place I’ve lived for six years. I’m taking a job in San Francisco, even though the recession is kicking Gen Y’s ass. The grim outlook of this economic downturn makes me fortunate that I was able to job-hop, because some people aren’t even able to find a position. I can’t know exactly where to attribute the success of finding a career in this financial climate, so I’ll just be content that I did. No analyzing necessary.
Back to the topic: emotions. My friends keep asking me if I’m sad to leave Chico, as if I seem cold or distant about picking my entire life up and transporting it elsewhere. Upon closer examination, I’m realizing that yes, maybe I am cold and distant about leaving, because at this point I have no time for emotions. The only way I can possibly thrive on this new adventure is to not get caught up in the sadness of leaving my college days behind.
I’ve tested this, too. I’ve allowed sadness in or let myself think about the people I’m moving away from and my heart immediately wants to stay. I want to curl into a little ball in my cozy apartment and stop time. My comfort zone is Chico, I realize that now. And, I have to get uncomfortable. Yet, my emotions in their primitive, unanalyzed form will make me want to stay.
And, some place needs to win. The comfort of Chico or the adventure of San Francisco. For a while, Chico kept winning, even though I knew opportunities for growth or challenge were limited here. This time, though, I’ve had enough of going to sleep every night wondering where my ambition and motivation went. I’ve had enough of not being able to respect myself, because I had begun to settle. And, I.don’t.settle.
So, I apologize in advance if I’m not showing emotion about leaving. I have to do this for myself and when I let myself be upset about moving, I feel crippled by it. And, I have no more room for excuses. I know I am new to this moving on thing, considering I went from my hometown right to college, so I’m being extreme.
How do you all deal with moving away and leaving people behind? How is it possible to create a life somewhere, uproot it all, and still be able to be sad about it without letting the emotion convince you to stay?
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you just know that you’re ready to do it and make way for new growth. You know that this time will be sad, but you also know that the world you once lived in has shaped you into a the best you can be there. The winds are turning direction and you just know that it’s time to take that new course for new beginnings, new experiences and new growth. Just smile and love it for what it was but don’t forget who it has made you become… each new city will better shape you more and more. And that is what makes beautiful people!
Thanks Melinda!
That’s great advice! =)