People keep telling me to give advice on how to find a job using social media. Or, give advice on job searching. And, ok, I can write here about how you should invite people to connect on LinkedIn or to start conversations with people on Twitter or that you should start a blog to sound like an authority on a subject, to establish yourself as a specialized member of a certain niche you want to be a part of. But, I’m just regurgitating what everyone knows.
Because, the truth is, the only thing I can do is be an example of someone that did something interesting. And, I can encourage you to the ends of the earth to do the same. I can cheer you on and brainstorm with you about different ways that you can show people you’re special. What I can’t do is advise you on how to get a job.
You know why? Because, the way I did it is not going to work for everyone else. I can give you a framework for a domain, companyshouldhireme.com and tell you to put your resume, information about yourself, etc… on the site. But, I have no clue if it’s going to work for you. Chances are, it won’t.
Now, if you want to chat online or give me a phone call, I could give you advice. I could sit with you and figure out a great way to bring out what’s best for you. I can do that. I’m good at that. But, I can’t blanket all of you. And, you can’t blanket all of me. It’s impossible.
Because, in my opinion, advice geared toward the masses is all bad advice. It’s all scrapbooked ideas of things that have worked for other people, but never for you. And, you want to be different. You want to change things up. You want to stand out. And, there is literally only one person that can tell you how to be unique and how to find something you are passionate about. ONE PERSON. You. That’s it.
I can bring it out of you, maybe. Maybe. But I can’t write a bulleted list of how you be yourself. I can’t write a blog post on how you can find a job because I have no clue what job you’re looking for. I have no clue what makes you smile. I have no clue what type of person you are. I have no clue what makes you amazing, what makes you happy, what makes you feel like you can change the world.
Personally, I feel arrogant and pompous and pretentious giving out advice, for the most part. I feel like a fake. So, I’m refraining from giving advice (unless, I’m an authority, but chances are, I’m not). I’m so sick of reading one-size-fits-all advice that attempts to segment who I am or categorize what I’m capable of. I’m pretty sure a bulleted list, which I’ve written before, I’m guilty, is not going to give me what I need to succeed. Or you.
By outsourcing our decision-making processes to a myriad of advice columns, we’re losing what it means to trust intuition, follow our own instincts, and look inwardly to understand how to navigate our own lives. And, I’m not going to claim to be an authority on your life. And, you can’t claim to be an authority on mine. We’re all beautifully different – let’s stop playing into advice that makes us appear all the same.
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You forget that people take what they want and leave what they don’t. They don’t blindly follow advice. Nobody reads advice that says, “Go jump off a cliff” and does it. People do trust their instincts on what works for them. So if you have good advice that worked for you, share it. It might not work for me, but it could trigger other ideas that could. But you should trust your gut too and if you don’t feel good about giving advice, then don’t. The best advice (lesson) is wrapped up in a story anyway.
Truth be told – almost anything and everything we write about as bloggers has been said before. I don’t really talk about anything NEW on my blog – but I CAN offer a unique perspective – shed new light on a topic that’s been done before. That’s what we are as bloggers, as online journalists – innovators in our own sense of the word.
There’s nothing you can tell me about finding a job that I probably haven’t hear before – but you can present it in a new way, maybe in a new way that’s never been done before, in a way that connects with ME. It might not connect with ol’ Rebecca up above me here, but everyone connects on different levels. Write for the masses, and connections WILL BE MADE.
No one is coming here to follow your advice to a tee, you and I aren’t experts on anything, and if we say we are – we would be lying – but people do come here, come to my blog, come to anyone’s blog find it within themselves to be inspired. That’s what it’s all about.
Keep telling your story because it’s one worth telling, people are listening.
The last paragraph says it all. Great post!
Rebecca: I didn’t forget that people take what they want from advice. I just feel like most advice is poised in a way that makes it seem like someone has all the answers. And, I don’t have all the answers, so if I continue to write advice, I’d just need a whole bunch of qualifiers in there.
Matt: I’m not saying that writing for the masses is bad – attempting to have an answer that fits the masses, in my opinion, is not possible. And, there are some really quality advice blogs out there, but seriously, 98% of them are BS. I’m going to continue writing, but I’m going to stop attempting to have a fix or to tell people what they should do.
Lena: Thanks! That’s my favorite part. =)
Jamie,
professional who seems to be constantly living a Groundhog Day version of a quarterlife crisis. Keep ‘em coming, I find your story both inspirational and jealousy-inducing, and your writing addictive and real, which is pretty (ironically) scarce these days in the world of bloggers. Sadly, my blog is in its 2nd year of writer’s block, so I always look to you for a daily (or weekly) dose of direction, inspiration and humor. Thanks for that!
Your columns are an inspiration to me as a “now-closer-to-30-than-25″ young (operative word
I really, really love this post. This has been bugging me for a while now. Some advice blogs I really love – I can tell the person has been in the industry for awhile, and considered a few different options before weighing in. Except most bloggers are giving advice with only a personal anecdote as evidence – which would be okay if it was framed as “Here is what I did, see if it helps you” but instead it’s “Here is what I did – you should do it too! (but don’t do it exactly like me, because we are different people!)”
No one has all the answers, all you can do is write passionately and let everything else come naturally. Inspiring and motivating is all you can do – none of us can tell people what to do, but we can put a powerful idea in their heads and let them act on it however they see fit.
Kerri: Thanks! You made my day with that comment.
Erica: Except most people don’t add the qualifier in your parentheses. It’s just “Here’s what I did – it’s now advice for all!”
Matt: Absolutely – but there’s a difference between writing and it resonating with people and then writing like you have the answer (most advice bloggers out there).
Jamie,
I appreciate this. You’ve got to admit; a lot of Gen Y blogs are pretty similar. They try to offer different life/career advice, but sometimes it can be the same story over and over again, just using different words and trying to be innovative. Don’t get me wrong: there are definitely people who stand out, and who I greatly admire. But a lot of it only perpetuates the idea that all Gen Yers are doing is talking about themselves and giving advice from experience they don’t have.
This is something I fear myself, but I’m trying to ignore it. It’s my style anyway to write random poetic posts when I feel the urge, and it’s very cathartic for me. I have tried to suppress that in the past when reading rigid advice like, “Keep your blog on one topic,” but that’s BS. Personal voice is so important, and if it’s not your style to give advice… don’t give it. You wouldn’t be doing what makes you feel amazing anyway, and people would recognize that.
Cheers to you for not regurgitating.
Amy
Blogging about your experiences is a great reference point for others to reflect on–keep up the great writing!
I agree with you that you should hold off giving advice. When you have enough time to fully digest the exceptional experiences that you’re currently having–then you’ll have a wealth of advice to share with people entering the stage of their career that you’re at now.
Interesting, it seems like it all depends on where it’s coming from. Jamie, you would never pose advice saying you HAD all the answers, so what’s so wrong about writing what worked for you? More in the form of thoughts, comments or to create a dialogue. Some people might actually learn from it and then if not, take it or leave it, just like Rebecca said…Yay or nay?
Amy: Exactly. And I kept seeing the same things over and over. I decided it was time to break out. Thanks for the support. Hope you continue to read!
Jeremy: Yep – but I think just blogging about my experiences is enough, instead of posing them as advice. It’s a very fine line and a weird divide, but I think the messages are way different.
Grace: I think writing what worked for me is different than saying, “Here’s how you should do it.” Saying, “Hey – this is how I got a job” is cool, that seems manageable. It doesn’t have to be positioned as advice – people can take what they will from my experiences. =)
I have had very similar thoughts when writing on my blog. Obviously we are not experts in the fields that we are discussing, but we never pretend to be. Our voices are instead ones of personal experience. I would argue that people can learn more by discussing past experiences with their peers than by simply reading an expert’s advice. The community that is gained from an advice post here or on someone else’s blog is where the knowledge and insight will come from. Jamie, don’t change the way you have been posting because you are adding meaningful ideas to the conversation.
Jamie, I like this post, a lot. I do think there’s a difference between sharing stories and giving advice. Like you said – a fine line and a weird divide. By sharing your experience, that’s enough to make people think already. And it also gives people a chance to reach out to you if they want to find out more. When you tell a story, people will relate & remember. When it’s a bullet list, it may be relevant, it may not.
Jamie, I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately as it seems to keep springing up here and there. Here’s the thing: You can stop giving advice, but we’re all going to miss it. We learn from each other. And, according Daniel Gilbert’s research in Stumbling on Happiness, this is really how we will be become happy – learning from others who have been there, done that. (Apparently, we all suck at predicting on our own happiness, so to learn from others is the best way for us to figure it out.)
Am I every going to start a companyshouldhire.com site? No. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not fascinated by your experience. If you wrote a how-to post, I’d read it. Not because I’m going to implement the advice, but because I’m interested in what you learned from the experience.
I agree that giving one-size-fits-all advice can feel uninspired. But, you’re hardly doing that – you’re only giving advice to people who could be as bold as you.
I’m also with you on their being only ONE person who knows whats best for you. I get it. But, as several other commenters mentioned nobody’s taking your advice word for word, running out and doing everything you say.
However, I don’t buy that you aren’t an “expert.” The definition of expert (according to http://www.m-w.com): “having, involving, or displaying special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience.” Geez, girl, give yourself some credit. You’re not an expert in everything, but I know (from reading your blog and reading your comments on my blog) that you’re qualified to give advice in several areas. You’re not a fake.
Whew. You know I have nothing but respect for you, but this post kind of bummed me out.
Ben: I will not stop writing, but I want to shift the focus a bit. Then again, some of the comments here, including yours, are making me rethink. This is why I love blogging. It’s reaffirmed.
Ruby: What you articulated was exactly what I meant to be implying. You got it. I’ve always said that the best advice you can give is to be an example. That’s more powerful, in my opinion.
Angela: Wow, thank you for this well thought out and articulated comment. I didn’t mean to bum you out! And, I am definitely taking your comment into consideration. Here’s the thing: I think that I can inspire people to action or share my experiences in a way that others will have a take away. It’s the actual act of posing it as advice that turns me off. Maybe it’s just a simple language shift or what not, but I just don’t feel comfortable speaking for everyone. For example, the post “6 Ways to Not Play It Safe” is one of my favorites – and I’m still sitting here wondering if that was advice.
What do you think? Maybe that’s where I’m formulating the divide: those were tips, tricks, ya know, just info. Whereas, if I wrote a post called – You Should Never Play It Safe and listed why, then I think that’s advice (and bad advice at that). I mean, maybe I’m just making it more complex than it needs to be – but that’s where I’m drawing the line. Does that make more sense?
Now we’re just talking semantics. Does it really matter if “6 Ways to Not Play It Safe” is considered advice? Let’s say it is. Does that make it any more or less valuable? Any more or less relevant? Nope. You’re still Jamie, talking about what you know.
I think I understand where you’re coming from. You don’t want people to think you’re a “know it all.” You don’t want to feel like a fraud for giving advice when you’re still learning. Here’s the thing: Everyone is still learning! Nobody knows everything.
Sure, some people are have dedicated their lives to becoming experts in a subject. I’m not suggesting we don’t respect that. But, Gen Y has a lot to offer each other – whether we want to admit it or not.
Not all of the advice we give is good. Again, that’s for the reader to decide. Like you said, we all have to figure that part out for ourselves.
If you don’t want to call yourself an expert or say that you’re not giving out advice, okay. I have no doubt that you can share your experiences while still offering value – and not calling it “advice.” (You’re good like that.)
I just hate to see you sell yourself short.
Food for thought: how many people aren’t looking for advice, rather, just someone else to validate what they already have done (or plan to do)? I’ve seen too many people take in essence an opinion poll via a blog: put out an idea that has a direction, but somewhat vague. Eventually, someone will tell them what they want to hear. They’ve now validated to themselves that they are OK, since someone else is agreeing to it.
Bottom line, write what you’re comfortable with, and you’ll come across as genuine. That’s all anyone really wants.
Great post. I really agree with what you’re saying. Advice really can’t be one size fits all…each person requires different advice based on their own personal situation. I think the type of writing you’re turning to more – lessons learned from your own personal experiences – is a lot more powerful. Because it shows that as Gen Y, we aren’t just pompously spewing our advice about things we don’t know about. Because that level of pretentiousness is actually one of the big criticisms of Gen Y. Instead this new approach will show that you are actually speaking from your own experiences. In that sense, I think it’s a lot more powerful.
Angela: Thanks for your comments. You articulate your points so well. I won’t sell myself short and I think this post was my declaration that I don’t know where I’m adding value. And I want to know. But, I’ve figured out that giving advice does make me feel like the “know-it-all” and I’m not comfortable in that space. I love giving advice personally, believe me, I give it unsolicited sometimes. But, when it comes to writing on this blog, I think it doesn’t fit me. However, based on your comments, I have started to think that maybe I should open up the blog for questions. Or something like that. Would love to get on gchat with ya – I know we’d have lots to discuss.
Norcross: Thanks for your comment and I think you hit a great point. I feel that maybe that’s where I add value: to validate what people feel and talk about the things maybe other people are afraid to talk about. Not that I am really provocative all the time, but I definitely know I take risks. Again, thanks for the food for thought.
Akhila: Right – I think the subtle lessons are more powerful. Where someone isn’t saying – hey, here’s what you should have learned from this, but instead it’s – here’s what happened to me, take with it what you will. Thanks for the comment!
On social networking, (yes, I’m seeking blanketed advice), what would you sat to those that are 40-50+ (my apologies to those that don’t fit this stereotype) that haven’t accepted/acknowledge/fear the generation blend and advancement of technology using social networking? In my opinion, if you’re not using at *least* one of the mainstream tools out there (LI/Twit/FB), you’re not building your brand.
Bottom line: what’s your argument to those that have yet to reap the benefits of e-networking?
And rebuts to “I don’t have time” etc…(mine is–if you don’t have time, make time. You’re only hurting yourself by not taking advantage of FREE self-promotion).