There is a neverending flow of advice coming from all different angles: experts, people who are pretending to be experts, people who don’t know anything, but think they do, and people who actually know things. It’s impossible to decipher the truth from a bologna sandwich. And, hey, I will not claim to be the truth, but I think I know a thing or two about people.
And, really, people, big surprise, like other people who are likable. So, don’t be annoying. Stop being a jerk. And, come out of your shell.
Now.
Because, the landscape as we know it is changing right before our eyes. Think about careers. More than ever, the job market is about who you know and with a myriad of ways to network online, you have no excuse. If you do not have a connection to at least one company you are interested in, you’re losing.
And, if you don’t know how to foster that connection once you have it, you’re losing more so. People want to help other people that they like.
If this freaks you out, then you need to find a way to get past it. If your introversion is stopping you from networking, you will not go far. This isn’t a maybe; it’s a definite.
Even the industries where somewhat social ineptness was okay (think, engineering, software development, programming) are becoming inundated with the ambitious. I had a meeting with a recruiter from Google yesterday and we chatted about the culture there. I was worried that with so many people invested in technical operations (which is most people at Google) that the environment would not suit me (an extrovert right down to the core). She told me that the hiring process at Google is intense and people who don’t fit the excitable, friendly, and happy culture of the workplace do not get chosen. Sure, experience and knowledge is important, but being likable is what gets you the job.
So, I know that sticking your nose in a book may make you feel like you are really making a difference, but your voice will not be heard if no one will listen. And, people listen to charismatic, personable people.
You can’t get around it now. Networking is going to both open up doors and create walls for people. You have to stay relevant and to me, it seems the only way to do this is to be someone’s favorite.
The recruiter at Google told me the more a person can get away from their resume, the better they will be. She told me that if you meet with someone and they like you, they will feel obligated to find you a position. They become emotionally involved, so to speak. These same people can dismiss you if you do not make an impression.
So, I’d say spend a little less time on the resume and a lot more time on your social skills. At the end of the day, your resume will not make you memorable. The things people will remember are if you were funny, interesting, intelligent, open-minded, and honest.
Believe me. I can speak from personal experience that the power of being likable is like any other. You know how people say that good looking people reap the most benefits? Sure, they definitely do. But, a likable person… well, that’s a force to be reckoned with.
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Good perspective – it is indeed a social world and an increasingly social economy. It is now more than ever “not what you know, but who you know.” Makes me wonder why I’ve stayed in school so long! :-0
It’s critical, through the whole job hunting process – that you are yourself. It sounds so trivial and obvious, but it’s absolutely key to getting where you want to be. If you are 100% yourself and someone still doesn’t like you, then screw it – you probably wouldn’t have fit in there anyway – at least you can say you didn’t hold anything back.
Resume’s are important, obviously – especially with larger companies who have to filter through stacks of them in order to find yours – but even on a resume it’s important to be yourself – at least when sending out a cover letter. For example, on several resume’s I sent out, I added some ‘extra skills’ based on the place I was sending it to. A lot of companies value social interaction and being able to keep things light and humorous as very important – so I put something along the lines of, ‘Can kick my roommate (and almost anyone else’s) but in Madden on Xbox. I got a call – didn’t get the job because my experience in the field was lacking – but, it made me stand out.
Be yourself. Be like able. And you will go far.
Definitely important insight. It really is best to be yourself at an interview, and not just repeat everything on your resume. I just wrote a post on a similar subject and linked to yours. Once again, great minds think alike
I couldn’t agree more. As a long time recruiter of entry level associates, I can vouch for the likeability factor. I can read your resume to tell me what I need to know. But if I don’t like you, you aren’t getting hired. And I can assess likeability in the first 30 seconds on an interview.
Ive always believed that your Resume is the reason you get the interview, your personality and your ability to relate to the recruiter and future managers is the reason you get the job.
Great post Jamie, keep it up!
Luke – you hit the nail on the head – the two go hand in hand. Resume’s get you noticed, personalities get you hired.
No, no, no. The key is respect. It’s not necessary that folks in the work force ‘LIKE’ you but that they ‘Respect’ your for your ethics, integrity, honesty, attitude, etc. You’re going to have to make decisions at times that will be very difficult to implement if you worry about people ‘liking’ you. If all you’re worried about is that, get yourself a puppy.
Come on America’s Youth – Toughen up, this is a competitive world.
In response to Buck Van Roo…I think that Jamie is right (unfortunately so, to my mind). I suspect that in my recent job search, I’ve come across as eminently respectable but (to coin a phrase) merely “likeable enough”.
It seems clear, in looking at most workplaces, that there’s a huge mismatch between what is perceived as likeable in an interview and leads to hiring, and what actually makes for a well-functioning work-team. To the HR folks reading this blog: you should work on that.
I had a thought on this post, but I forgot it when I started scouring through all the other excellent posts on your site.
I concur?
To put Dan Pink’s phrasing to this topic:
Both being skilled/respectable and likable are essentials. With just one, you aren’t going anywhere fast!
You’re right though – - technically skilled people are a dime a dozen nowadays. Now what employers are expecting on top of that is likability. Gen Y’s realize life is short and if we’re going to be in a 9-5, it might as well be with people whose company we enjoy!