1. Go against what everyone tells you to do
Fear: “I’ll be doing something wrong, people will disagree with me, and I’ll have made a terrible mistake that will be stamped on my forehead the rest of my life.”
Payoff: You’ll learn. You’ll be empowered. And, most people who are successful do not follow the rules; they make their own.
Best Example: Mark Zuckerberg from Facebook dropped out of Harvard to develop Facebook. You think people supported his decision to drop out of college, not to mention the prestigious, Harvard?
2. Listen to your heart and not your logic
Fear: “My heart has no idea what’s good for me and I’m a practical person, so logic is the only thing that makes sense.”
Payoff: Your heart will lead you in directions that are different and unfamiliar, but it’s a more intuitive path. Listening to your heart also takes faith and trust in yourself, two things that are not easy, but come with big payoffs.
Best Example: Most bands. Anyone with a bit of logic would quit pursuing the music industry, because the likelihood of actually getting anywhere in that industry is slim. But, some get through and it’s exponentially worth the faith. For example, Death Cab for Cutie formed in 1997 and didn’t go mainstream (partly their own choice, but partly not) ’till 2003. That’s six years of limited radio play, weak CD sales, sleeping on couches, and eating ramen on their tour bus (which was probably a van).
3. Put yourself out there
Fear: “People won’t like me.”
Payoff: People will. But, people won’t, as well. It will make you stronger and happier, because humans thrive with interaction. And, your fear only serves as confinement. Whether it’s building a blog readership or meeting friends for a drink at the bar, if you’re not present, you’re already behind.
Best Example: Anyone who dates online and finds the love of their life. Hell, back up, ANYONE who signs up for online dating. That takes guts, especially if you meet someone in person. However, I have a few friends who have had success with online dating, including one that is getting married in a few months to someone she met through Match.com. That kind of makes me want to go, “awwww,” but I’ll spare it.
4. Dance on stage, sing karaoke, be a volunteer at a magic show
Fear: “I’ll look like a fool. People will laugh at me. I’ll be humiliated.”
Payoff: You’ll look like a fool. People will laugh with you. You’ll be surprised at how much you’ll love it.
Best Example: Ellen dances on her talk show everyday and personally, I think she looks like a fool, but in the best, most beautiful way possible. She seems free of worry and shame and insecurity. It’s truly inspiring (and it’s just a silly couple minutes of dancing).
5. Be clear on your dream(s)
Fear: “If I’m too clear and too into my dream and it doesn’t come true, what will I have left? I’ll be so disappointed.”
Payoff: Even letting in the possibility that your dream won’t come true is setting into works that it won’t. Being clear and believing, 100%, that you will achieve it, will make it happen. Dude, that may sound corny, but it’s true.
Best Example: What does Lance Armstrong do? He bikes. What did he set out to do? Win the Tour de France. When I read his book, I was blown away with how focused he was on cycling. And, it wasn’t about IF he won the Tour de France, it was about WHEN. (And, truly, all odds were against him.)
6. Fail
Fear: “This proves, once and for all, that I am inadequate and incompetent. I knew it.”
Payoff: The best lesson I think anyone can learn are the ones that blossom from failure. You learn how to be resilient and self-sufficient. You learn how to be innovative with your approach, because you failed, so you need a new plan. Mostly, you learn things about yourself that you didn’t even know you needed to. And, that’s priceless.
Best Example: Robert Downey Jr. A few years ago, he failed, basically, at life. And, his career dwindled to nothingness. But, then he came back stronger than ever and his career is better than it was before. His failure must have opened up parts of himself that he didn’t know needed to be examined. And, it pushed him to be better.
I’ve noticed that there’s an inherent fear of “coloring outside the lines.” And, why shouldn’t there be? At the slightest gesture of going against the norm, any one person can be hit with an onslaught of criticism. But, what we need to remember is that very few people have been extremely successful and actually inspired change by following the rules and playing it safe. It’s practically unheard of.
Believe me, I spent the better half of last week kicking the naysayers voices out of my head and replacing them with the affirmation that I am going for my dreams, doing things I believe in, making choices that are difficult, talking about choices that people don’t agree with, and putting myself out there in a big way.
I’m done playing it safe. Are you?
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
i love this article…i’m gonna favorite it on twitter…very inspiring…thank you
Jamie,
Cool post. It’s funny because I was reading #3 (put yourself out there), the best example I could come up with was, um, you.
Failure is huge and is truly scary. But, I agree you have to be willing to take the risks to get any of the payoff. Who wants to live a life of mediocrity, or as you put it, coloring in the lines? I know I don’t!
My take:
1. Don’t go against what everyone says, instead, take what everyone else says with a grain of salt. You can get some pretty great advice from folks who have been there before and have the scars to prove it. But it’s important to, in the end, do what you think is best.
2. Again, do what’s smart. There is a fine line here. If I followed my heart right now, I would be unemployed, (probably) broke, and I wouldn’t have the experience that I do right now that’ll help me in the long run. I’m not suggesting ’settling’ but there will be a time and place where each and every one of us will have the opportunity to fulfill our passions.
3. One of THE MOST important things for folks in our generation. Getting your name out there and establishing your ‘Online Legacy’ (I think I’m going to trademark that term – I say it all the time). Best way to network and build some credibility.
4. If we all danced like Ellen, the world would be a better place
5. Dreams and aspirations are so important. Never sell yourself short. Good advice.
6. ‘That that don’t kill me, can only make me stronger’ – the immortal words of Kanye West ring true here. Failure is inevitable, but it makes you stronger, it ultimately builds confidence (in the long run), and you learn from your mistakes.
Good thoughts and solid advice.
i think this is one of your most intelligent and insightful posts.
for #5, i am reminded of the guy who walked a tight rope across the twin towers. his documentary “the wire,” tells his amazing story, which is the crux of passion and determination. it inspires me to stay true to my own personal dreams.
Pure brilliance.
These are all great, Jamie. I think I do #6 quite well. But it’s all learning, right?
You are an inspiration. Thank you for existing. You’re already a step above any job Twitter could offer.
Rachel: You’re welcome. I’m glad you liked it!
Angela: Haha, yes, you’re right — I definitely put myself out there. And, it is and was scary. But, a big payoff. People will fight you along the way if you try to upset the status quo, but we have to do it, right? We should all be fed up with mediocrity.
Matt: Thanks for your thoughts. I don’t think anyone should follow these all the time, but I think they apply for certain times in one’s life.
Vanessa: Vee! Oh man. I can’t wait to dive into your blog. Thanks – I’m going to attempt to write more along these lines from now on. Or, at least, add posts like this into my mix more often.
Jenny: Dude, we’re soon to be BFFs. Duh.
Chase: Haha, it IS all learning! Love your attitude.
Katie: You’re welcome for existing. That’s awesome. Thanks for the comment!
Hey Jamie,
In this post you really “hit from your sweet spot”:-) The principles, examples and context you put around them are great!
How did you get to be so damn bright?
These are great Jamie, really.
I’ve gotta agree with you that the very best way to learn and grow in life is to screw up. Like the guy says at the end of Jerry Maguire –
“In life, to be honest, I’ve failed as much as I’ve succeeded.”
It’s also true that perhaps the biggest reason people don’t go after what the truly want is that they run the risk of not getting it. Is there anything as heart breaking as going after your hearts desire and not getting it?
Yeah, not even trying in the first place.
Keep doing what you’re doing Jamie.
PS: Ellen dancing is one of those things that always makes me grin from ear to ear…!
I absolutely LOVE this post. You are brilliant. And my hero.
Lady, you totally know what’s up. The being afraid is so completely worse than the diving in. So, has twitter hired you yet?
Jamie, another great post. I especially love point number one. I always take people’s advice with a grain of salt—especially when they are trying to talk me out of doing something my gut is telling me to go for it. Definitely something I keep in mind when naysayers come around. No one knows you better than you.
Jamie, I think this is one of your best posts so far. I love the optimism and it’s really great life advice for anyone. But I also have to say – not everyone is naturally a risk taker. Some people are more logical, and some people are more comfortable and happy that way. It’s a great idea to take risks though, because it always makes you really put yourself out there and learn something from the process.
I love this post, Jamie. Especially the examples. Probably going to have to print this one off and hang it up somewhere. Thanks!
#6 was just the inspiration I needed today. Thank you, Jamie!