Hi all you lovely readers! I’m moving on to a new blog. I need a different home for all my travel adventures. The new blog is called A Life in Translation — Learning what it means to live and love from across the world.
It is going to be very similar to this blog, but I just wanted a fresh start for this big part of my life. Also, if you head over there now, you’ll see I’m having a big Kindle giveaway, so get cranking on that, so you can win yo’self a Kindle!
While you’re at it, you might as well subscribe to A Life in Translation via RSS or email. I promise to be just as interesting as I was for this blog and probably even more so, because I’m out and about in the world. Grazie!
Last night, I had a total freak out over Italy, because, did you know, I leave one mother effing week from TODAY?! Today. As in, today. I’m actually freaking out just writing that. And, I know, I’m doing this crazy awesome thing and traveling without an end date or a plan or anything substantial, really, but that also means that it has set in now.
And, all I keep thinking is…
WTF AM I DOING!? WHY AM I DOING THIS? I’M LEAVING EVERYONE I LOVE BEHIND. I’M INSANE. CLINICALLY INSANE.
And, once I absolutely freak out, I begin to step back and realize that these moments that are so uncomfortable and heartbreaking are the ones where I’m actually DOING something, coming closer to who I am and what I stand for. Sure, when I think about canceling my plane ticket (which I won’t do, don’t worry) and staying behind, it feels like a nice and comfortable warm blanket. It feels, well, safe. And, while I’m not opposed to feeling safe, I’m definitely not in the place where what I need to do is find a way to settle down.
Not to be incredibly cliche and awkward, but I have some wild oats to sow. And, although, one week before I leave, my scared little self is trying ridiculously hard to get me to realize that what I’m doing is stupid, irresponsible, unnecessary, and so-very-typical of Jamie Varon (and that’s not a good thing, apparently), I am about to kick this sabotaging voice right in the freaking FACE. And then totally pwn it by getting on that damn plane for no reason other than I NEED TO FIGURE SOME SHIT OUT, MMMK? Is that all right with you scared little voice?
What I’m realizing, also, is that when you make a decision to do something that is scary and out of your comfort zone, you aren’t given rainbows and butterflies leading you right out of that zone. It’s a fight and a struggle to prove whether or not you were actually serious about making a change. I’m coming to expect that when I put my foot down and make a decision, I’m faced with every temptation there is in order to get me to falter. And, if I don’t falter? That’s when the real changes come along and when those changes are made to stick.
This is something important for us to learn and understand, because if we know we’ll be faced with tons of roadblocks on our road to a shift, then maybe we can navigate them better. Maybe we can be able to recognize when something is actually just a mirage in front of us, instead of the reality. Maybe we can know that a decision is imperative to our success in anything and once we choose a path, we have to fight to stay on it, even if the world/Universe is fighting for us to turn around and go back from where we came.
Use me as an example if you need to. Because, I might have made this decision to travel seem easy, but when the reality of me leaving has been sinking in, I’m a total nerve-racked, emotional, butterfly-in-stomach mess. And, really? I wouldn’t have it any other way. This constant state of freak out is all the proof I need to know that what I’m doing is exactly what I need to be doing.
Flickr credit